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Testimony: A Story of God's Grace

My name is Rian Lewis, leading teacher here at Steadfast Spirit. I believe it's important you hear the testimony of those you choose to trust to teach the Bible to you. So I want to give you a rundown of mine.

I was raised an Episcopalian in Upstate New York. Now we didn't go to church very often until I was a little older, then living in Maryland. During this time, early teen years, I started to take it seriously, and became a confirmed member of the Episcopal Church, which I later renounced. Which for those who don't know, it's basically the American version of the Church of England. It's Anglican. And to this day, I actually stand in my Reformation Anglican heritage. Even as someone who sees themselves as a kind of a Reformed, Wesleyan hybrid. Orthodox Wesleyan and Methodist theology bases itself in Anglicanism. John Wesley himself was an Anglican priest...

But, not to jump into a history lesson, I was confirmed. Got my fancy Book of Common Prayer, which I wish I could find, but then, I started to have questions... The same questions that really populate most people's heads when first really diving into faith seriously. Questions on Biblical reliability and authority. Historical questions. Questions of science in relation to the Bible. These things are normal. Especially for a young or new believer.

So the rector of this parish was a decent man. I still love this man deeply today because of the path he opened me to, that ended up bringing me here. But he, like a lot of mainline pastors, let's be honest, was a progressive Christian. Now what does that mean exactly? Here I have two quotes pulled from the website of a self proclaiming progressive church: 1st, "We don’t believe the Bible is the inerrant or infallible word of God." 2nd, "We don’t believe that people of other faiths are going to hell unless they convert to Christianity." With that, is also a lot of political things that I'll leave off the table, that have nothing to do with the Gospel. And please understand, I'm not just bashing here. That's not at all my intention. But there's certain things that are just core beliefs and doctrines. Biblical authority, and Jesus being necessary for salvation are two main points of the Christian faith.

So, when I went with these questions, I was told a few different things.. Things like, there was no real answer to them. We cannot take the Bible as literal, or completely true.. These things were confusing to me.. Especially with the claims of truth the Bible makes about itself, as well as church history.

So I did what any other teenage of the internet age does. I started googling. And when I did this, I was introduced to this world of what I know now, is fallacy. But when I had nothing else showing me the truth, I quickly started to believe the lies. Lies that the story of Jesus was just a retold story that had roots in Egyptian, Hindu, Buddhist and Greek mythology. A documentary called Zeitgeist played a major role in this. And I didn't have anybody showing me where this was wrong. And all the websites I visited seemed to verify the claims... So, I really just took it at face value..

That began a spiral. And in this spiral, I would become an enemy of the church. Much like Paul. Just not as deadly. But I would debate people outside of churches. Telling them how wrong they were. Telling them of these supposed roots in ancient mythology. And I'm today saddened to think, especially with people in my demographic, I probably ended up leading some away from Christ. And that hurts me to think about.

This continued for years. My now wife knows it better than anybody. The distaste I had for Christianity. The mocking. The hatred. I mean I thought, how could people be so stupid?? How could they believe in this lie if they did any research at all into it?? The Devil had a grip on me that was leading me to be uncontrollable about it. Wearing shirts with pentagrams on them, showing up to conventions just to argue. I was terrible about it. 

Years later, I'm general manager of a retail store. I wasn't making crazy money by any stretch, but I could live comfortably. Had a decent car. Bills were getting paid. Had the money to go out and do what I wanted to do. It was nice. I never really debated religion in that store, because I just didn't believe it was the right place. But one day, I wish I knew the brothers name, a Christian man walked through the door. And we ended up on the topic after a lengthy conversation. We sparred for a bit, until I got frustrated. And when I got frustrated, I made the dumbest, but best comment that's ever exited my mouth. I challenged God. And in that challenge, I said if He was real, I needed proof. I needed to see it, have Him humble me... And man, if I wasn't. The man simply told me he would pray for me, and said to be careful about what I was asking for...

It took some time, but then things just snowballed. Before you really knew it, I was without a car, without a place to live, and without a job. Bathing myself in public sinks, grabbing change off the ground for food, it was a rough season. But let me tell you, those little green side dish packs, the ones that are a small pasta dish, or rice those things were actually pretty filling, and only $1. And if we're being honest, the whole situation was a pride thing. I could've easily picked up a phone, called somebody, and been okay. But I was blinded by that pride, and wouldn't allow myself to do it.

So things went on like that for awhile. I kept myself secluded from family, so they wouldn't see how bad I was struggling, at least the best I could. The thought was, until I was able to find another job, and get myself going again. And one day I just had enough. I was looking for money for food. And I'd only look for change on the ground. And I just dropped to my knees. Broken. I had enough. I gave in. And slowly, things started to turn around.
Don't get me wrong, I still had a ton of questions. But in God's providence, I ended up at the right church at the right time. Some time after all that, Kasey and I were back together after a few years apart, and ended up in a pew at Kent Island United Methodist Church. (I know... You're thinking: The UMC? How could that be the right church? But this way a firmly conservative, evangelical Methodist church. Yes, they do exist) That morning, Pastor Mark Farnell started a series about the evidence for Christianity. Historical, philosophical, any question you could raise, was talked about in that series. And if you needed a further, deeper dive into the topic, right after service, there was a Bible study dedicated directly to it. I ended up truly giving over to Christ in that church during a Sunday night service. 

Let me be clear, this isn't a story about me. This is a God story. See, I was prideful, an adulterer, a hater. An all around sinner of sinners. I understand what Paul means when he says he feels he's the chief of sinners. I resonate with that so much. But you know what? I still wasn't too far from God. Jesus still bore my sins on that cross. And Paul's. And yours.

We'll dig more into my call to ministry in a later article, but this is the basics of how I came to Christ...

I would like to encourage you to know your testimony. Listen, we cannot bring people to Christ ourselves. That is a work of God and His grace. But through our testimony, we can be a tool God can use to bring them in. So know it's and share it.

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